Hey everyone,
I have updated this story! The new version can be found on my portfolio website:
Strange stories from a strange town
Centuries ago, there lived a man who had never seen the
ocean. When he finally made it the coast, he fell in love with the ocean, and
the ocean fell in love with him. He spent his time enjoying the breeze while
the ocean would sing to him, her love crashing against the shore. Eventually, the
man had to journey back to his home, which was far from the ocean.
The ocean was alone. She kept singing to the man, hoping
that one day he would hear her call and return. This went on for days, then
weeks, then months. She tried singing louder and louder until her song flooded
the coast. The ocean could no longer be contained as she desperately tried to reach
her lost love. The song became angry and violent and her waves began to destroy
the earth.
A wise man watched the destruction. Most people feared the ocean,
but the wise man wanted to understand her. He simply asked the waves, What’s
wrong. He sat and listened to her song. He could hear the pain and sadness
underneath her anger. He heard a story of love, loss, and longing. He knew that
in order to heal the ocean (and the earth), he had to find the man.
The wise man journeyed for many days, looking for the man. He
climbed mountains and combed through forests. All the while, the ocean was
still raging, slowly drowning all in her path. Finally, the wise man found the
ocean’s love. The man looked sad and small. So, the wise man offered him help.
He said to the man, Do you hear the ocean calling for
you?
The man replied, Yes, but I don’t know how to answer. She
is so great, and I am so small.
The wise man had a solution. He asked the man, What if I
can make you larger, and allow you to see your love every night?
When the man agreed, he was sent to the moon. Every night, the
man listens to her song, and the ocean is peaceful.
Author's Note: I love the Man in the Moon myth, but I didn't like the reason that the man ended up in the moon. I thought it would be cool to make a more romantic/dramatic story (I love romance tales!). I kind of had trouble with describing the ocean, but "the song", is the sound of the waves crashing on the shore. It's always peaceful sounding, but sometimes it also sounds a little scary, especially when the weather is bad. Thanks for reading!
This story based on: The Man in the Moon from the Myth-Folklore Anthology. It's by Katherine Neville Fleeson and originally comes from Laos Folk-Lore.
Image Information:
"Night Ocean Background"
Found on: Allwhitebackground.com
Hi Grayce,
ReplyDeleteI loved your story! It was so sweet and heartfelt! After reading your author's note, I realized we are one in the same! I love origin stories of the moon and also love romance stories, so I absolutely love your version! What's also funny is that we did a story over the same Anthology story (except yours was way better than mine!).
My only confusion was at the beginning of the story. Why did the man go to the ocean and then leave if he had such a great time? Later in the story you said he was alone and sad. So, he didn't go back for family or a job, so why did he return to home?
Also, maybe consider using quotation marks when people speak instead of using italics. I like the change, but sometimes it can be a bit confusing.
Other than that, I thought it was really good and creative! I can't wait to read more of your creative stories!
-Libby
Hi Grayce!
ReplyDeleteI thought your description of the ocean was amazing! It's really difficult to describe something such as the ocean as an entity like you did. I also really enjoyed your style of writing, I could definitely imagine this being a creation myth from out textbook if I had read it anywhere else! I think if you ever wanted to expand on the story later on it would be interesting to learn about the backstories of the man in love with the ocean and the wise man. Does the wise man have any other connection to the couple other than his genuine interest? I think there's a cool opportunity to have a plot twist with the wise man's origins that could add more depth to his motives. I think there could have been a different distinction between the wise man and the other man. I did a double take the first time I read it because I missed the fact that they were 2 different people while I was skimming, but other than that I thought the story was great!